Wednesday, November 26, 2008

No Bailouts For Hellenic Monsters

Two non-substantive posts in one day. Am I the only one who thinks that CNBC's Charlie Gasparino, who recently went a little nuts on air, looks a lot like Calibos from Clash of the Titans? It would explain why he only gives editorials from behind a desk... he's hiding that tail. At least he threaded his eyebrows and filed down his horns.

The Suffering of Animals = Yum

Gang, get your bibs. Sharpen your knives. Ready your drool cups. PETA's Thanksgiving cooking video game is here. And man, is it making me hungry. Plus you get a super sweet bloody video bonus after every level. I haven't had this much fun butchering fowl in ages. Digital giblets aren't as nice as the real thing, but they'll have to suffice until tomorrow. Have a great holiday, everyone.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Executive Excelsior! 'Nuff Said!

Moments after basking in the promise of the first Geek President, I find out that Obama's comic-book-collectin,' MacBook-sportin,' Star-Trek-lovin' ass has been beaten to the punch by Dubya. The White House has announced the 2008 National Medal of Arts Recipients, and the Grand Doyen of all fanboys, Stan Lee, is among them. Sorry, Forrest Ackerman, take a number.

I think it fairly momentous that the creator of The Hulk, Spider-Man, X-Men, et al is going to receive the most prestigious arts award in the nation. But I have to guess that 'Bama is throwing kryptonite darts at a picture of W right about now. You just know the President-Elect was saving a spot for Stan right next to Stephen King, Spielberg, and J. K. Rowling. No? Ok, fine, that might be a bit much. Knock Steve off the list. No, the other Steve.

Anyway, it's a fine, validating day to be a geek.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Evasion ≠ Denial, Ashley

Wow, I'm really not keeping up with my updates. I apologize. I've been busy editing. I can only promise that when I unleash the zombie Adrienne Barbeau upon the world, she's going to look fantastic.

In the meantime, maybe this tidbit will make amends. This past All Saint's Day (that's the day between Halloween and the Day of the Dead, you squares), I dragged my unwitting better half and another friend to see a midnight show of Bruce Campbell's My Name is Bruce. And the man himself, the champion of chainsaws, the enemy of severed posessed extremities everywhere, Ash, Brisco County, Jr, and the pornstar-'stached dude from Xena: Warrior Princess was there introducing it. In fact, he introduced at least six New York screenings in one weekend as part of his promotional tour.

Now, I love the man. I honor his canon. I grew up wanting to be him. So in the interest of prolonging the mythic status Bruce may hold in the hearts and minds of many reading, I am going to avoid any further discussion of this directed-by-and-starring-BC vehicle. What I will tell you is this: being in such a small crowd (roughly twenty dweebs showed up for the late show), and spurred on by Cambell asking, "Do any of you have a question about a movie you haven't seen?" I opened my big mouth and shouted, "Spider-Man 4!"

Immediately, BC began to riff. I think he's gotten this one before. Apart from rehashing his cameo roles in Spideys 1-3 (noting that, as a pesky usher, he was the only person who's defeated Spider-Man), he went on to ask, "I've done enough in those movies. What else do you want me to do?"

Now, I'll make the claim that what I'm about to suggest, I concocted in my brain years ago. That said, I can not claim that the idea is original. The fanboy fantasy pipe dream I herein propose has been out there on the internets for a while, concocted by the otherwise unengaged minds of a thousand geektards writing a thousand fanblogs. It's a rumor started by a million dudes who thought it up themselves or read it somewhere like this. Nor was this the first time it was proposed to BC in a Q&A, from what I gather online. But I rambled, out loud, in that curious fashion that comes so naturally to the comic nerd:

"How about this, Bruce: all of those characters were the same struggling actor and FX artist named Quentin Beck. You should be Mysterio."

Bruce played dumb. He asked what the hell I was talking about, pressing me to go on in an effort to deflect the question and out me as the incurable dork I am. Success on both counts, Campbell. But I shut my mouth quickly enough, once it became apparent that although he wasn't going to answer the question, he wasn't going to deny it either. He pretended to try to get Raimi on the phone. He asked, "Why would I want to act with a fishbowl on my head?" Good point. But he let slip something like, "Everywhere I go, I hear about this Mysterio." So much for playing dumb, Bruce. The hopeful geek in me could only take this as a sign that it's been Raimi's plan from the first film, and that Bruce knows exactly who Mysterio is.

Take it from a former employee of the franchise (I was a PA on the NY leg of Spidey 3): everyone's under a gag order. There were rumors of crew members being fired for taking photos on set. So while the man couldn't confirm anything, I'm going to keep hope alive. And I, for one, think Bruce would look great under a fishbowl.