Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Big Two Hustle Uncle Sam

The old man's still got it. Apparently, Larry Flynt and Joe "Girls Gone Wild" Francis are requesting bailout money from Congress. I'm not going to weigh in heavily on TARP and the socialization of private enterprise. Far more informed and intelligent people than I can't agree on the legality -- let alone the morality -- of recent US domestic economic policy, and it's hardly Fanblog material. So I'll let you decide if socialism is a dirty word or not, and whether these steps are necessary evils or acts of good financial karma or the undoing of everything good and holy about the red, white, and blue... and green. But it stands to reason: if major private industries which represent large chunks of our economy can get vast federal loans when business is bad, then why should such charity not be extended to one of the largest, and most pervasive, industries there is (especially when they only want a measly $5 million)?

The simple answer may be because porn doesn't need it. I seem to have misplaced my smut industry ledger books, so I'm just guessing here, but I can't imagine that the industry needs any loan. Porn weathered the death of theaters and video by being on the avant garde of internet and DVD technology. These people know how to adapt a business model, and they have a product that's always in demand. On that note, isn't porn thriving now? As my genius brother said, the industry must be "pretty recession-proof I would have thought. More unemployment means more people at home jerking off." Well said, Chazman. Well said. Unemployment is its own benefit.

But that's all beside the point made by Flynt. He's asking Congress to explain where the line should be drawn, and why. He's using media (I have eschewed the cliche of saying "art") to hold up a mirror (I have not eschewed the cliche of "holding up a mirror") to Uncle Sam, as if to say, "Sam, I know you jerk off. I know you watch porn. I know you thrive on this industry, even if you refuse to admit it publicly. So where's our piece of the pie? Are you really going to deny me?" Of course Sam will deny Larry. But then he'll go home and beat it to F--- my Brown S---hole (a real title, I kid you not).

Apparently, porn is not recession-proof. CNBC just did a story on the industry and and how piracy has hurt it. Ok, fair enough, but the demand is surely recession-proof. People may cut back on trips to Disney World and fancy dinners, but as my bro said, a bad economy must result in more masturbation. Seeing CNBC anchors talk about porn was the highlight of my week. Melissa Lee definitely just used the phrase "direct injection" when referring to Flynt's request for TARP funds. I'm sure she had a lovely time covering the AVN convention. Why do I think that she was a hit at the
Yellow Fever DVD booth?


mqa said...

If anybody would be an authority on who's a potential hit at the Yellow Fever booth, SC, it'd be you.

Strange Case said...

Dude, I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.